Diagnosis

3rd November 2009
Driving on our way to get the results of the core biopsy I just wanted to get there, hear the good news that all was fine so that I could come home, carry on life, start eating again and look forward to our cruise next October.
We were early arriving at the clinic. I  looked for tell-tale signs on the faces of those that greeted us as to whether they knew of my diagnoses or not.  The specialist's nurse came out and asked me if I had brought my mammogram films with me.....from that point on, I knew all was not well.  She must want my films to explain something to me, I thought.  I looked at Darren and said 'This isn't good, why would they want me to bring my films?"  We were shown into the specialists rooms and as I sat down, I saw the results on his desk with Infiltrating Lobular Carcinoma Grade 1 highlighted in blue.  I didn't know what on earth it was but I knew right then that our lives were going to be changed forever.  The specialist explained that they had found a 6mm tumor. The first question I asked was "Is it terminal?"  He replied that no, it wasn't and that it was treatable.  He went on to explain that it was the 2nd most common breast cancer but the difference between ductal and lobular cancer is that lobular forms in the milk lobes and seeds itself into other parts of the breast.  I would have to have an MRI to see the tumor more clearly and to see if it had gone into the other breast but I would have to wait until another two weeks at least until I was at the beginning of my cycle to get a correct analysis.  In the meantime I was to go and have a chest x-ray and my blood tested which would detect whether the cancer had effected by bones, liver or blood.  It was all too much.  I just sat staring, unblinking, trying to take everything in.  Surely this happens to other people....it can't be real....it can't really be happening to me....But it was!