I don't much like Mondays and even though I didn't have to get up for work, today was no exception. I woke up feeling very miserable and tearful and missing home. I still hadn't caught up on my sleep so today I decided I was going to have a bit of a party...a pity party that is!! I don't really think I had allowed myself to do that since my diagnoses five months ago. After breakfast I got into the shower, leaning on the stool to support my still painful back. As I viewed my, what felt like a mutilated body, I asked myself what I had done to deserve having to go through all this. I felt like my life had just begun to settle down. I was married to a fabulous man and we had just bought a new home and were planning a cruise in October...this whole episode had put our lives on hold, both physically, mentally and financially. I try to be a nice person and can't understand why there are people in the world who cause others horrendous harm but get away unscathed from things like this. I cried like I had never cried before but it felt good to let go of the grief.
Later on, one of the nurses came in and sat with me and listened to how I was feeling. Even though she hadn't been through it, she was very understanding and just to have somebody listen was comforting. She also thought that the morphine type medication was causing my sadness so she decided to try ibuprofen instead.
When Darren arrived he took me out for another spin in the wheelchair. This time we ventured outside for a breath of fresh air and did a few wheelies around the carpark which blew the cobwebs away. On the way back to my room me made me drive myself...crikey...and I thought I was bad enough steering a Pak N Save trolley. Those things have a mind of their own.
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